How to Motivate Yourself When You Have No Motivation (But You Still Want the Best Things Life Has to Offer)!

Written by Nina, UCLA MA; Former Teaching Fellow, Harvard University; and author of 20 textbooks and a novel

I'm actually using one of my motivation techniques as I write this post. I don't want to do what I'm supposed to do today, so I'm "flipping the days".  Why don't I want to do today's tasks?  I don't want to. Sometimes, we just don't want to. Do I still want the results that the things I'm supposed to do today promise? You bet, but how can I get the goodies without the work? 

I've had my own business for much of my career. I've taught at universities and for clients at private companies, but at the same time, I've always had my own company. Many think that if you have your own company, you have more free time. Actually, it's the opposite. If you don't work, you don't get paid. If you don't get paid, you get the idea.

The quarantine proved very interesting to me because many people who formerly had offices to go to, people to meet with in person, co-workers observing who worked on projects diligently and who didn't, suddenly had no eyes on them. At that point, the computer beckons. Social media beckons. Friends beckon, The refrigerator wants to be opened. The tennis courts become wildly appealing. I wondered how working at home would go because I know how hard it is to motivate yourself when no one's looking.

What have companies done with this new style of working? Many have mandated that workers come back to the office.

There are two great fears in a person's career -- fear of failure and fear of success. We can easily understand fear of failure, but fear of success?

We see ourselves a certain way based on all we've accomplished so far. Whenever we push beyond that comfortable self assessment, we're going into the unknown. What if we ask the universe to allow us to go into the unknown? Do we really deserve to abandon our current selves to create something better?

Fear of success is fear of the unknown. We've done everything to create ourselves so far, so this becomes as comfortable as our shoes. The unknown puts us into a space we haven't been before.

In my business, I've worked with CFO's, presidents of large companies, etc. and I've learned something very important. I haven't met one who wasn't afraid of his or her unknown. Maybe they had to give a speech in English ((I teach non-native English speakers). What if they made a grammar or other mistake? What if they couldn't answer an English question at the end? At first, I felt shocked that people at such a high level were afraid of anything, but then it made sense to me. We're all afraid of pushing ourselves into the unknown. 

I've had both fear of failure and fear of success, but something stronger motivates me at a much deeper level.

If I allow these fears, or even my own laziness-- that feeling of "I don't wanna" -- to derail my motivation, I'll never be anything more than I am today. If I project to when I'm on my deathbed someday, do I really want to look back at all of the times I didn't want to do what it took to go to the next step in my life?

My answer is always, "No". When I try and fail, I learn more about how to get my goal. I think of my goal as a stop on a wonderful street. If my path doesn't get me there, I look for other paths. That process can sap energy, but I accept my exhaustion if failing becomes what demotivates me.

I write my tasks every day, and when I do each one, I give them a physical checkmark. I love looking at my calendar and those checkmarks. Reaching beyond yourself is hard. Most people don't do it because it's so hard.

 A final thought-- At the top of this post I talked about "flipping the days".  I look at my tasks for the day every day. Sometimes, I can't bring myself to do what I've allotted for the day. Why? Because I don't wanna. In that case, I look at other days for a more appealing task.  I delete today's task and put it on another day in my calendar. Today, I was supposed to write a synopsis for a workshop I'm giving. Now, I'll do that on Monday. Today, I wrote this blog post, which was Monday's task.

Don't beat yourself up. Accept that it's scary to go beyond your perception of what you've always been and what you are today. The unknown is scary, but it's where change and excitement live. It's where you get to tell others who you are rather than them telling you. If all else fails, flip the days.