Learn linguistic techniques to sound confident at your interview (even if you're so nervous you rival jello).
Written by Nina, UCLA MA; Former Teaching Fellow, Harvard University; and author of 20 textbooks
How do native English speakers and non-native English speakers sound confident during a stressful event like a college interview? In other words, how can you substitute the sound of confidence for the sound of nervousness; especially when you are understandably nervous?
I'd never try to tell you how to feel. You feel what you feel. However, if you could sound confident instead of nervous with a simple technique, wouldn't you want to do it?
Language is our attempt to transmit the fullness of our thoughts and feelings to another person. The emotion often represents the more important component. We may walk away from a stressful conversation remembering some of the words, but the stronger impact rests with the emotion.
You've probably had the experience of meeting with someone about something important. That person said positive words, but you walked away from the meeting thinking it didn't go well.
Why?
Probably because the emotion of the words held more strength than the words' dictionary meanings.
Try saying the same sentence, but with the emotion highlighted.
You just saw one of the best movies you've ever seen. You say, "I liked it."
You just saw a new movie, but it was nothing special. You say, "I liked it."
Did the first version sound different from the second?
When a native English speaker learns English as a child, that speaker learns that the emotion and the words go together. On the other hand, most non-native English learners have learned the words as an intellectual endeavor; something studied in school, or intellectual, rather than an organic expression of thoughts and emotions blended together.
Even though English as a Second Language teachers have taught learners to stress certain words grammatically, when we listen to non-native speakers' stress patterns, grammar doesn't communicate the fullness of the emotion. Though non-native speakers may have the words they need, and they may feel something about the words, the words and emotions aren't always attached. This can leave the sentences sounding flat; like the speaker is reading to us rather than feeling what he/she is saying.
You might think at this point that the technique I'm going to teach you only benefits non-native English speakers. That wouldn't be true for one simple reason.
Native English speakers in an interview or other stressful situation have learned that the emotion and the words go together, but what emotion tops the others in an interview? I've taught business English to CEO's, CFO's, and presidents of divisions, and I can't remember one who wasn't nervous before a speaking event or very important meeting.
Harvard Business Review says research shows that people form impressions about a leader’s competence in as little as half a minute. This means, within seconds, listeners will decide whether you are trustworthy, and they will do it based on your body language and vocal attributes. What you say and how you say it are equally important.
If you could sound like a leader with an easy technique (and the best universities want leaders) and sound confident even when you're not, would you want to learn it?
I can't erase your nervousness because it's a real emotion, but I can help you sound confident, instead, by using "spice words".
I developed a quick, easy technique for my learners called "spice words". As I mentioned, I teach business English to executives. My business English learners don't have a lot of time. How does the "spice" I'm going to teach you change the communication?
Imagine cooking a roast, putting the meat in the oven, but neglecting to put even one spice on it. Now imagine cooking a second roast. This time, you put a whole array of spices and sauces on the meat. How do the two dinners compare?
Language represents our attempt to transmit the fullness of our thoughts and feelings, the "spice", to another person. You may forget the words someone says to you, but you don't forget how you felt after they said them.
The "Spice Words" Technique
The spice words technique focuses on two actions -- saying a particular word with more power and pausing after that word.
The most basic way to practice this technique is with the word "but". You can clearly understand that the sentence before "but" goes down an intellectual straight path until it takes a sharp turn with the word "but". Two simple things cause an emotion to be felt by the listener:
Saying "but" with stronger emphasis.
Pausing after you say "but". The longer you pause, the stronger the emotion.
These two easy actions create the spice for the listener. The listener notices the added emphasis on "but" and interprets that emphasis as showing more importance to what follows.
The pause after "but" adds another boost of confidence for the speaker. As the Harvard Business Review states, "It takes confidence to use dramatic pauses. A pause is like the period in a written sentence. It gives your audience a break between thoughts.”
The New York Times cites the pause in between notes of a classical music piece, explaining why short pauses draw so much attention. They say that as social beings, we are hard-wired to pay attention to breaks in the flow of communication.
Try reading the following sentences without and then with the "spice words" technique. Record yourself.
Examples:
No spice: I'd love to give everyone raises, but we have no budget for it this year.
Spice: (Say "BUT" with more strength and pause after it.)
I'd love to give everyone raises, BUT . . . we have no budget for it this year.
Can you feel the difference?
Now, add more spice words -- "but", "however", "because", "or", "so", etc. These are all words that change the intellectual straight path and cause sharp turns in the meaning and feeling of the sentences.
Finally, any word can use the spice word technique.
Examples:
The BIOGRAPHY . . . was written very well.
The biography was WRITTEN . . . very well.
The biography was written VERY . . . well.
One Caution
Just as we can put too many spices on the roast, we don't want to overdo the emotion of the spice words. You should use spice words where the emotion resides. We don't want to say, "I DON'T . . . WANT . . . to GO . . . to THAT . . . movie."
Conclusion
These suggested tweaks help you understand how emotion changes everything, and that the real meaning of the words in a sentence is not necessarily just the one in the dictionary. You may feel nervous during the college interview, but you can still lead with confidence by controlling your spice words.
