The (Unintentional) Sabotaging of Applications from… A Student’s Parents

The college admissions process is an exhilarating and sometimes daunting journey for both students and their parents. While parents naturally want to support their children's aspirations, it is crucial to strike a balance and avoid common mistakes that can inadvertently hinder their chances of acceptance. In this article, we will explore the potential pitfalls parents should steer clear of, ranging from micromanaging applications to exerting undue influence, in order to ensure a smooth and successful college admissions experience for their students.

1. Micromanaging Applications:

One of the most common mistakes parents make is micromanaging their child's application. While guidance and support are essential, it is crucial to allow students the freedom to express their unique identities and perspectives. By resisting the urge to rewrite essays or dictate every detail, parents empower their children to take ownership of their applications, fostering independence and authenticity.

2. Over-Guiding the Process:

Parents often want to provide their children with the best possible guidance, but it's important to strike a balance between offering support and allowing the student to explore their own interests and passions. Encourage your child to take the lead, research potential colleges, and engage in self-reflection. By promoting independence, parents enable their students to discover their true potential and find the right college fit.

3. Excessive Contact with Admissions Offices:

While it is natural to have questions or concerns during the admissions process, bombarding admissions offices with frequent inquiries can be counterproductive. It is crucial to respect the boundaries and protocols set by colleges. Encourage your child to take the initiative in contacting admissions offices directly when necessary, fostering their ability to advocate for themselves.

Colleges also seek to admit students with the highest degrees of merit, integrity, and respect, and they take careful note and consideration of all contacts made to the college and if anything raises a red flag (even if it comes from the parent and not the student!).

4. Demonstrating Entitlement:

Admissions officers value humility, awareness, and a genuine desire to contribute to their campus community. Parents must avoid conveying a sense of entitlement during the admissions process. Encourage your child to focus on their accomplishments, experiences, and growth rather than expecting special treatment or relying solely on family connections.

(Colleges are very guarded against any signs of money or status to sway an admissions decision or family values or upbringings that convey money or status as means above another.)

5. Overstepping Boundaries with School Counselors and Admissions Officers:

School counselors play a vital role in the college admissions process, and it is essential to respect their expertise and authority. Parents should avoid attempting to influence or manipulate their child's school counselor or admissions officers. Instead, foster open lines of communication, trust the professionals, and support your child in developing a positive relationship with these individuals.

The college admissions journey is an exciting and transformative time for students and their families. As parents, it is crucial to avoid common mistakes that may inadvertently hinder your child's chances of acceptance. By avoiding micromanagement, over-guiding, excessive contact with admissions offices, demonstrating entitlement, and overstepping boundaries, parents can empower their children to navigate the process independently, fostering personal growth and resilience. Remember, providing support, guidance, and a nurturing environment will enable your child to showcase their unique qualities, ultimately increasing their chances of success in the college admissions process.

As college admissions consultants, we understand the delicate balance we must strike in our role. While we are often engaged and selected by parents to guide their child through the admissions process, our primary responsibility is to prioritize the student's success and do what’s best for their outcomes. Sometimes, this means providing advice or recommendations that may differ from the parents' beliefs or expectations. Our experience has shown that the most successful students are those who have supportive parents who maintain a hands-off approach, allowing their children to take ownership of their journey and make decisions aligned with their passions and goals. By fostering a collaborative partnership with both parents and students, we can navigate this challenging terrain and guide students toward their desired college outcomes.